AWFUL Game: Universal Studios Theme Park Adventure

Ewwwwww. You see that picture above you? That's what you call a bad game. I HATTEEEEEEE this game. Why? Because of a personal experience. You may remember me mentioning it earlier in my "Deep Trouble" post, back in July.

I was about 9 or 10. I was happy with my libary of games with my beloved Gamecube. My sister got a job at a local video store that sold video games for bargain prices, and she was able to rent ANYTHING for free, because she was an employee. I got to play all these great games, and I never came across a experience where I played a SHITTY game. But one day, she bought me 2 game's. One was Paper Mario:The Thousand Year Door, an absolute gem in my collection, which costed 30 dollars, and the other one was Universal Studios Theme Park Adventure, which costed 10 dollars. I'm going to be honest, I didn't even KNOW what the name of the game was, because the name of it was in a tiny corner of the box! So I popped that son of a betch into my gamecube, played the first 10 minutes of it, and was scare'd for life. I NEVER seen a game this bad. I had nightmare's that I was forced to play this game in hell. I knew it was just a game, but it had such an impact on me. I could'nt tell which game's were bad and which were wrong. I started getting suspicous what games I should play. I didn't have internet or magazine's too tell me if something's good or bad!


It's been 4-5 year's. Still pissed. I have been waiting for this day to prepare to get rid of this game in my memory. This, ladies and gentleman. Is Universal Studios Theme Park Adventure for the Game Cube. It is me versus the game now, and now their is NO turning back!

Ok the title screen does not look so good. Kind of bland, but hey, cant judge a game by it's cover. This has to be good right? NO. You start it up, and you have to put in your name and difficulty. I like to point out that your name is almost never mentioned in, and you cannot change the difficulty.

You start the game, and it sucks already. Look at this. This is a GAMECUBE game. The balloons are two dimmensional, and you can barely even FIND your character! Seriously, just try finding me in the picture above. So this is how the story goes. Your a anonymous 8-10 year old protagonist that wanders off into Universal Studios Theme Park unattended. Where is his parents, and why does he walk around a giant crowd of people all by himself? So you get greeted by Woody F****ing Woodpecker, who tells you that there is a "stamp collecting contest", and tells you to "have fun". Too put it simply, the game is a mishmash of several bad minigames all packed into one, and the theme park serves as the really bad overworld. Complete one minigame, get a stamp. Get all the stamps and you win the game. Sounds fun right?
NO.
It would be nice if they added some kind of arrow too tell you where the hell you are, or maybe an arrow that shows where you can go. There is a total of 9 minigames. Once again, this is a gamecube game. That is pathetic. Nine. Oh, and you know how in some theme parks, the line is really crowded and you can't get in? This game makes you do that. You can wait all you want, but that line will NEVER go away. The only way you can get in is if you buy a hat with your in-game points from Motherf***ing woody, but it has too be the woody at the entrance! There is a woody at the entrance of every exhibit, and you wish you could just ask that woody for the hat, but NO, you have to find your way ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE START OF THE GAME!

If you want too buy a hat, you gotta buy it with points. To get points...your not gonna believe this...but...you have to pick up trash. I'm not kidding. If your lucky enough too SEE trash, you have too pick it up and bring it too a trash can. You got too repeat this until you get enough to buy a hat. Very rarely you meet characters on the streets, like the Frankenstein monster, and you gain very little points. After all that trouble, you find your way too get the hat, too find out that all the minigames SUCK. Oh, and by the way, too bring up the menu too save or select the hats, you press Z. I'm not kidding. Not the start button.

E.T: Yes, thats right, E.T. To be fair, I rather play this then the Atari game. There is no crowd for this exhibit, yet they still have the nerve too put in a E.T hat that is completly useless. You ride on a bike from right too left. You could try pulling off tricks, but it will just result in you falling.

Jaws: Your on a boat, and you have to throw crates at Jaws when he comes towards you. If you miss hitting him, the ship tears apart, and you cant walk past that area, and it can even block the route from getting more crates!

Trivia: This is almost IMPOSSIBLE. The only way you can beat this is if your a complete movie nerd. You have to answer like 20 questions, all appear randomly, and all from different movie scenes from different movies. Get 3 wrong, your dead.

Wild Wild West: You have to shoot down these targets with your gun against an opponent. B too fire, and A too reload. It begs to be the opposite.

WaterWorld: This is absolutly pathetic. It's not a minigame. You watch a scene were the plane crashes from 5 different angles of your choice. With this game's bland graphics, It looks like shit. There is no crowd for this "minigame". I'm not surprised, it's one of the worst one's off a mediocore movie.

Jurrasic Park: Believe it or not. this is the minigame that gave this game a T rating. The game is too hard and frustrating for young people, and too childish and pathetic for Older people. In this minigame...your the 9-10 year old sitting in the back of a jeep holding a machine gun shooting at dinosaurs. I have no comment.

Backdraft: This could of been a good minigame, but the thing that ruins it is the awful camera. Your in a burning building and you have to save ALL the people inside. If you miss a single person, you fail. That's kind of harsh, don't you think? You use your fire hose nosel like Super Mario Sunshine, but much more stiff and shitty. Fire comes out of nowhere, burning your too death, so this minigame is just trail and error, and you MUST remember where every person is!

Back To The Future: So your racing against another Dolorian, and you have to crash into it enough time's too win. However, every time you crash into the Dolorian, it speeds ahead and says "HAW HAW HAW!". Your going to hear that about every 10 seconds.

That's all the minigame's. No joke. If you do bad in a minigame, you get a blue stamp. If you do very good, you get a red stamp. I only got 1 red stamp because I could care less. You find letter's that spell UNIVERSAL STUDIOS throughout the whole game, but i never was able too find all of them because the camera angle is so bad, so I tried looking up a walkthrough, and there isn't a single one because THE GAME IS SO BAD NO ONE WANTS TO SUFFER WITH IT!

"Too keep playing, you got too be a f***ing nerd". From then on I just gave up. The game won. From what I heard, if you beat the game, it turns too nightime and you get a bland magic show, and then the game's over. I don't want too suffer anymore just too get that far. Here is my conclusion:

GamePlay: 2/10(I'm being generous)
Graphics: 1.1/10(gave it a 0.1, again very generous)
Music: 4/10(Good, fits the game quite well, but too repetitive)
Story: 0/10(There isn't any.)
Fun: 1/10(Boring, Mind numbing)
Bottom Line: Disaster

Now that I reviewed this game, let's pray to god no one else suffers with this game. Now if you excuse me, I got too throw this game out. Thanks, and have a great day.